I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I cut my penus on the lid.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
