After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
