Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
