Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
