I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize