Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
