quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
