it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
