Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
