I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
