Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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