So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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