Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
