No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
