you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
