you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
