i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
