I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Randomize
