took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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