you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My bed smells like the plague
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
