i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
