So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
