Can i not drive my cunt home
I wish I only lived at night.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
