just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
