My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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