Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
