I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Send help, water and tortillas.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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