all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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