I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
