I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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