So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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