Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
