I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
