What a fucking waste of an outfit
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
