arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
