I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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