Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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