It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
