there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I had to cum in my sink.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
