Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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