i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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