thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
