and you said cock pushups were impossible
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Randomize
