he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
