Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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