OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
