I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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