absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
