i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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