so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
