Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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