i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
