This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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