Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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